My 4 weeks school holiday has come to an end.
Just going back to school tomorrow.
A lot of assignments not done.
It must the late sleep I took last night, over 2am, my mind is exhausted.
O Level is just 4 months away, counting down isn't fun.
I am conscious of what I was and am doing, and just hoping for the best out of this.
I am not like people who always study during their free time.
I guess I need a better life than studying dead.
Mr. Lee Kuan Yew ever said that children whose parents are at least university graduates have a better learning environment.
It is true, children are much smarter when their parents university graduates.
Life is much more easier for them too.
But breaking it myself that I am not in that situation and also that I am not gifted, it is not easy.
Moreover, they are leveling the O Level standard every year.
Talking about 5 years ago, it was pretty easy.
Talking about 9-10 years ago, it was even easier.
Talking about 1-3 years back, it was hard.
I thought it would be good to be smarter.
I am already in this generation when I have to take the hard papers.
Am I prepared? Not much.

I don't know how will I do.
I feel so useless. I asked what is the point of living when life is bad.
'alot of people don't know the point of living, but they still live on'
There are a lot of people worse than me.
I thought of what am I good for.
My silence can mean that I don't want to attend to life.
My silence can mean that I am generating negativism.
I can barely break through what I want in living.
My silence can mean that I am giving up
My silence can lead to this sharp piercing in my heart, I knew I am falling apart.
I rub hard away as my tears drop.
I thought it would be better to be smarter than who I am.
I am very unhappy about living.
Do you think I am like you?
Live on as time goes? Live on as things come?
I give up. O Level isn't easy now, I prepared nothing.
I am nothing. I thought it would be good to be smarter.